The Twisted Tale of unforgiveness

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13

In quantum physics, entangled particles remain connected so that actions performed on one affect the other, even when separated by great distances.
The phenomenon so riled that Albert Einstein called it “spooky action at a distance.” Entanglement occurs when a pair of particles, such as photons, interact physically. A laser beam fired through a certain type of crystal can cause individual photons to be split into pairs of entangled photons. The photons can be separated by a large distance, hundreds of miles or even more. When observed, Photon A takes on an up-spin state. Entangled Photon B, though now far away, takes up a state relative to that of Photon A (in this case, a down-spin state).
Now y’all might be wondering what quantum physics has to do with forgiveness ,trust me I did too but after listening to a neuroscientist breaking it down , I just felt inspired to write . Now I know I’m never going to do justice as far as explaining the correlation between quantum physics and forgiveness goes ,but listening to Dr Caroline Leaf today just made me realise the detrimental effect harbouring unforgivness can have on me as an individual. We all have been hurt one way or another and I’m sure we’ve done our fair share of hurting as well. I know I have , sometimes I even pray and ask God to forgive me coz I know I’m about to hurt somebody … And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us… I’ve prayed that a thousand plus times ,but it still doesn’t come easy. I don’t know if anyone can relate but forgiving is even harder when the person you are supposed to forgive is very close to you .I guess it stems from the fact that you don’t expect them to hurt you or something like that.Anyway coming back to the quantum physics bit , when you don’t forgive someone it means essentially you are still connected through those negative emotions. Now we all know the horror associated with these emotions and not to to forget the negative impact they have on your lively-hood and those around you like family and colleagues .What intrigued me most was how the very emotions that conjure the worst out of you are what keeps you connected to the person you most likely don’t want to be associated with (not a good thing but that’s how I feel when I’m hurt) . And though there’s physical distance between you and the person,any unforgivness in your heart allows you to stay connected – I’ve read somewhere that humans are emotional beings and emotions are what connect us .Now that I think of it , they never qualified which kind of of emotions connect us , I’m guessing both negative and positive? And like the photons mentioned earlier ,what ever emotions you might have – anger ,resentment or hurt , pop up when you think of that person or you see them . You’re now essentially a marionette , a string puppet controlled by the puppet master – a slave to unforgivness. I would like to believe that hurt is a violation of some sort and unforgivness is a defensive mechanism .But from my experience as a sportsman , you have more control of the game when you’re on offence .So when you forgive you are actually taking back control and stepping up to be bigger than any violation you have suffered.
By forgiving the other party you let them go , therefore releasing that entangled string which connected you to them taking back the freedom that allows you to heal and learn to love them like Christ loved the church. Forgiving leaves you feeling good like you lost a couple of pounds.
In a nutshell this is what I learnt about forgiveness..

1. Forgiveness does not deny pain or wrongdoing; it is a choice to let go of the person who hurt you.
2. You can feel forgiveness in your body. Think of times in your life when you have forgiven someone and how it made you feel.
3. Forgiveness is not weakness but rather a sign of great courage and love. Think of how forgiveness can de-escalate negative thinking and negative situations. Think of this impact on those you are in relationship with.
4. A change of mindset is key to help you work on forgiving those who have hurt you.
5. Stop being angry and forgive, or you may become that anger—whatever you think about the most will grow.
6. Acknowledge the issue and the attached pain and anger you feel. You have to be honest with yourself if you truly want to forgive someone.
7. Recognize that healing requires time.
8. Find a new way to think about the person(s) who hurt you.

Now I know that I’m not going to wake up a forgiveness guru , but I sure know that I don’t want to be a character in the twisted tale of unforgivness.
By Charmaine 19-06-20